Now I lay her down to sleep, but first...
We finish the Lord's Prayer.
"Mommy, what means trespasses?"
"Trespasses are sins. When you do something wrong. Mistakes. We ask God to forgive our mistakes. [I know she's already thinking of her own mistakes because she said her low of the day was when she forgot she shouldn't say "you're mean" because it hurts my feelings, so we had to talk about it again and she had to lower her clip one color on the behavior chart. I explain more.] We all make mistakes. We're all sinners and God loves us anyway. Just like I love you no matter what. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you. You could never make a mistake that would make me stop loving you."
"Mommy, where do babies come from?"
I stare at her. Oh. My. God. Seriously? I'm not ready! She's five! Why are we having this conversation right before bed?!?! I know it's a little because it puts off sleep when we're trying to go to bed early on the last night of winter break, and a little because she really has these questions, and a little because we do things like say the Lord's Prayer and talk about our highs and lows of our days and she puts it all together. I decide to go with something she already knows.
"They grow in mommies' tummies."
"Yes, but where do babies come from?"
"What do you mean?"
"How do they get there? Who puts them there?"
Ugh. I can't just say the stork brings babies. I can't imagine discussing eggs and sperm right now. At bedtime. Alone. While Justin's at work. I can't... So I just say, "Mommies and Daddies put them there."
"But then how did the first human get made?"
I stare at her for another moment, but I give a little guffaw-type of laugh and can't help but smile big at her. "People have been debating that for years."
"Well, how..." she follows.
Great. Where do babies come from and evolution. Because it's bedtime. Bedtime is always when the best conversations happen. Where do I go with this? I fall back on honesty again.... in my tired, nervous, caught of guard, sleepy jumble of wondering what Justin and I thought we were going to tell her and when and why I didn't already know the plan for that.
"Mommy and Daddy believe that God made the world and the dinosaurs and everything. And humans came from a kind of monkey that evolved and became humans over a long period of time."
"I'm sleepy. All I remember is 'Mommy and Daddy.'"
"Perfect. That's really all you need to remember. I love you."