Monday, December 25, 2006

So, Christmas is weird

Justin and I have no money, so we did not buy Christmas gifts this year.

Actually, we went to Las Vegas last weekend and called it our gift to each other and later, when the sales are on, we are going to go shopping together and buy some things we "need" and call those our gifts too. We figured, since we don't get much free time if we're going to spend it shopping (something we both hate) we should shop together (togetherness being something we love). So there it is.

Last night and this morning were the first Christmas Eve & morning sans gift excitement.

It feels a little off. Like we're just doing Sunday again (church this morning). But we say Merry Christmas to each other, and we did get gifts (I gave him my "Dream, Reach" painting because it is his favorite (it's blue) and because it's how he makes me feel--like I can reach my dreams. And he gave me a card--it's our sixth Christmas!) . We did Christmas with our families on Saturday the 23rd. We'll see Brian and his family later today, so it is Christmas. We have a cone-shaped Rosemary tree in a red pot on our dining table, the landlord decorated the courtyard so thoroughly we might live in a shopping mall, and the gays at the end of the hall who never close their windows have a gorgeous tree and decorations everywhere, so it's like we walk through our Christmas-y yard and living room and then come into our room and it's OK that we're lowkey on the holiday gear.

It's just a little bizarre. Last year I hated it because I missed and wanted our child so much, but I powered through with so much energy I finally cracked. This year I'm so OK with it all that I...

I don't know.

It's like we finally GET Christmas; it's the not-really-his-birth-day-celebration-of-Christ's-birth and it's become a consumerism nightmare and except for the love of our friends and family and the church part of it we're just not participating. Which might mean that we're participating in a way Jesus would prefer?

Who's to say...

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