Last night I took a sleeping pill to avoid another sleepless night. Before the medicine I spent three hours trying to sleep--for reals, no radio, no TV, no lights on--to no avail.
But Tuesday night I stayed up til 5 a.m. watching TV online. I also made myself a schedule that I know I have to force myself to adhere to, now that I don't have any regular employers requiring my presence at a certain hour.
I am so worried that if I let myself watch what depression can do to me it will win. On the other hand, it's so much work to fight it and so fascinating to watch that it's hard to change the channel.