I had some good friends and then I got sick and some of them fell away and some of them held on and then fell away later. Then I got better and I started making new friends and getting back in contact with the last to fall away but now I've started getting sick again. It's bad timing--those who may return never really got to see me well because I used all that time to reestablish myself as a working member of society and a helpful wife, those who maybe were just starting to like me might see the illness too soon, and the jobs are getting all mucked up too.
I wonder if living is this hard for everyone.
If normal people are always calculating their moves, so as not to mess things up.
With a mood disorder, maneuvering through life feels like keeping track on an abacus of affection: give a little, hold a little back, retrieve a bit, give a little more... all just trying to make it add up to OK.