Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I'm So Dizzy

Dear God this is miserable.

The way I feel right now is a very very very significant part of why I am taking a medical leave from work.

There is no reason for this dizziness.

I just did what lots of American women do if they don't go to work every day. I went to the pharmacy and picked up some meds, I got some coffee, I went to a doctor's appointment, I ate a snack, I exchanged some Christmas gifts at the mall (yes, Christmas, yes, that's how much I hate the mall), I went to the grocery store (where things started really going downhill, but I took the medicine that is supposed to subdue that decline), did the shopping and then came home and put it all away. The neighbors needed their dogs walked last minute, so I drank a smoothie/juice on the way to their house and got lots of puppy-happy-to-see-you-ness and fed and walked them, which would be generally what it would be like if I had my own dog, and when I got home I thought I'd make some dinner.

I'd been planning the dinner for most of the day. On doctor's orders, I was not supposed to think too much and I was to get a second opinion ASAP on my medications. I was supposed to redirect my habitual analysis of behavior and experience and emotion to something simpler, like breathing. Or dinner.

But now I'm lying here dizzy, not thinking about it, but not feeling any better.

Thank God Justin saved me from myself on the idea of making dinner now. I made dinner last night, of course with our vintage oven it took twice as long as it was supposed to take to cook. I just did the dishes, I was ready to get started on dinner but I needed a couple of the ingredients from Henry's.

And now, instead of cooking or even writing I'm going to lie here and spin while I wait for Justin to return with a burrito from the yummy Mexican food place in the strip mall behind our apartment building.

I sure hope eating goes well.

And I sure hope the doctors manage to arrange a second opinion appointment for me soon.

I am tired of running these hills every day.

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