I have this terrible habit of not believing What They Say, which right now is to say that I do not believe that I will not have any time to myself if we have a kid.
This, despite the woes of my friends who all tell me they haven't read anything for pleasure in as long as their first child has been alive and who now even go to the restroom with a baby as their witness.
I believe that if I have a kid I will read during nap time, or nap during nap time.
Naivete such as mine must be what keeps this world populated with human beings.
That and the fact that we supposedly forget the pain of childbirth within a while of the event--that and good drugs.
Anne Lamott writes in Grace (Eventually) that she "trusted that other parents would help [her] every step of the way, and that if [she] did not keep secrets when motherhood was going particularly badly, there would be healing and enough understanding and stamina to get by."
I guess that's why I have chosen to be so open about trying to have kids. I know that if I get pregnant and then have another miscarriage I am going to need a tribe to carry my body away from the cliffs.
I also know I won't have a clue what to do if we do have a baby, so it seems like a good idea to warn everybody so that they get ready to help in their own way. I'm counting on the ways including some cooked food and maybe some babysitting or company for me.
Anne Lamott says, "I believed that being a parent would be a more glorious circuit than it's turned out to be--that the transmission would be more reliable. Now I think I imagined it would be more like being a grandparent."
I believe someone will help me when I'm so tired I want to hide the baby in a drawer until I feel like playing with it again.