I am not sure there is a limit to the number of times I will watch Barack Obama's acceptance speech from Tuesday night:
I am so excited about this chance for change that I cannot figure out what to do to be a part of the change.
For now, I think a new haircut will be my starting point. Or maybe a manicure. I got suckered into buying one of those packages from a place that was advertising--for $58 I got a manicure, pedicure, haircut, gym membership and some hair color treatments. I don't know what I was thinking--I don't ever plan on getting my hair colored.
Meanwhile, my restlessness is not allayed.
I really want to do something. When I was on my anxiety medication I was so tired it seemed perfectly necessary to sleep for much of the day. Now, however, I do not want to sleep but I cannot find anything else to do. I suppose there is always the house to clean, but I need fulfillment. I do not feel gung-ho about anything. I wish there were more obvious answers. Wishing does not make it so--I need a mandate. Obama has a mandate; I wonder how he knows where to start working.
I could participate in the No on 8 rallies, but I am not sure that I believe in their power. I realize the bizarre sound of that--I am all about the freedom of speech. But I want to participate in producing change. Will disrupting traffic and rightfully accusing the fundamentalist church of stealing their rights give gays the right to marry? It's a question. I am not sure. On the other hand, I am not sure that people thought the civil rights marches of the 1960s would be effective. Perhaps I should simply give civil disobedience the benefit of the doubt.
Meanwhile, what shall I do with these days that stretch before me?
Boredom is not my strong suit. Perhaps I should try to get work through a temp agency. Until then, I need to hold onto the idea of experimenting my way through life--that each day is an experiment and that I should just try out doing a little of this or that and not expect so much of myself.