Monday, January 26, 2009


Just like that, *snap* today I feel better.

Not this morning, though I didn't feel as bad, but some time during the day--I just stopped feeling so heavy.

I didn't notice it until I was on my way home. I just didn't feel heavy. I didn't feel like something was going wrong. I didn't feel like I was moving through doom.

There is a part of me that is still looking over my shoulder trying to see if the monsters are still behind me, but then I force myself to look forward, so that I do not waste too much time wondering what is happening and simply believe in the good.

There is also a part of me that is working to preserve this goodness. I stayed home tonight, instead of going out with a friend (two offers). I felt like I needed the rest--which is all I've been doing, but it is different to sit and rest when I feel OK rather than feeling like I am trying to keep from drowning. Of course, part of me is aware that staying at home is a symptom of the continuing hangover of depression, but I'm willing to take my chances.

Heh. Suddenly things don't seem so dark.


OakMonster said...


KI said...

I am *so* joyful for you right now :-)