It's the end of the era. Justin is working his last shift as a resident.
No more will he be a student (except in the way that all doctors are always learning--and practicing medicine).
I really can't believe it. I'm so used to him being a student. I know residency is technically a job, I think, or technically a job as a student... but tomorrow when he goes to work he's going to WORK. For money! I know residents get paid... but they get paid like, well, teachers. Tomorrow when he goes to work he's really a doctor.
So tonight I'll get up at 1 a.m. or 2, when he gets home, to toast to the future. To say goodbye to the past. To know that he made it and that I was there with him.
We're 37 (well, I am, if you round up--he was as of the 25th), and we are finally going to stop living like college students.
We are renting a house.
We have a baby.
We have known each other nearly a decade, and next month will be our 9-year wedding anniversary.
I've watched Justin graduate from college, medical school and residency. I teased him about going to yet another hooray-for-Justin event, but really I am SO proud of him. So proud.
And thankful. I am blessed to live in Seal Beach with a baby I get to stay home to raise.
We have gone through really hard times to get here, financially, emotionally, even physically (after all, Justin had surgery on his foot and almost died from osteomylitis (a blood infection) in the first month of our marriage). But here we are.
I wish I could just enjoy it all. I wish there weren't this feeling that keeps coming back, but it's there. Maybe it's fading, but it's there.
In the meantime, I had a friend from high school who now lives in Texas come over to visit today during her trip to see her family. She brought her daughter, who is two months younger than Ella. We were trying to keep them relatively apart, because of that way babies have of reaching for each other's faces and accidentally poking each other in the eye (there was one head-butting incident, but no tears). But we could see that Ella was very slowly and gently reaching out for Addison, so we just let it go. Ella gave her a hug and a kiss! Addison didn't seem to mind and then they returned to parallel play, but there was definitely some interaction, some interest in the other kid and what she was doing. I wish they lived closer to us.
Three more hours and 11 minutes until Justin's shift is officially over... technically. TV? Sleep? It shall be revealed....
(This blog was written yesterday, but blogger was down, so it's posted later. Justin is at real work now...)